What I Learned in our First Year of Marriage

C and I celebrated our one year anniversary last month! It is surreal to know that a full year has passed since our wedding day. One question that we get asked often is “how is married life?”. I’m gonna tackle this question here, with my three biggest takeaways from our first year of marriage.

It’s ok to be struggling already

You always hear about the “honeymoon phase” when couples first start dating, and that there’s another “honeymoon phase” in the first year of marriage. I agree that it was very blissful and sweet in the beginning, but life can easily change. It’s not always easy. Struggles can come anytime and unexpectedly. For us, we had a few months of financial instability and hardship. It really tested our patience and grace for each other, and our trust in God’s provision. However, this period of our marriage taught me not to take things for granted and to accept that it’s ok to be struggling already. If challenges happen in the first year of marriage, it doesn’t mean that you are doing something wrong. When you let go of the idea that marriage is a perfect ending, then the times of struggle and hardship will only be a little bump in the road.

Go through life alongside other married couples

It was very beneficial for us to journey through our first year of marriage alongside other married couples. We were able to get support and encouragement from people in the same life stage, and we would do the same for them. We are also so thankful to have couples who have been married longer to mentor us with wisdom from their own experiences. However, don’t neglect your non-married friends! They are great at giving objective opinions or perspectives that you may not see anymore as a married individual.

Don’t stop pursuing each other

Married life comes with its own busyness aside from the everyday tasks. It can consume your time and you end up neglecting each other’s needs. From our experience, it was so important to continue living our married life as though we were still dating: you want them to stay in love with you, you want to do the biggest or smallest things to show your affection, you want to keep pursuing them with everything you got. It made me feel so loved knowing that C is still trying to impress me, and vice versa. Of course it’s understandable if you are actually busy, but even a date night or a specific time in the week to spend with each other can influence the dynamics of your marriage for the better. Don’t let your marriage be lacklustre, add some excitement like when you first started dating.

We both look forward to see what our second year of marriage will bring! Comment down below if you have any other questions for us!

Until next time,

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